Inspired by the eternal-noob erman and human-calculator enkelin in the "What happened to JonC?" thread.

Basically, tell a story you remember from the old days. In the days of Bedevere, Caps, Calypso, Imperium, pantalones, etc...make it good!

To start, I offer Retyu's famous play "TOBAL-TEH PLAY".


TOBAL (TEHPLAY)

[Enter three Admins.]

Atlum.

When shall we three meet again?
In greece, italy, or even spain?

JeffL.

When the newest patch is done,
When graphics are improved for the sun.

Code Herder.

That will be ere the set of sun.

Atlum.

Where the place?

JeffL.

In Sol I think.

Code Herder.

There to meet with Miqqo90.

Atlum.

I nerf, forsooth!

ALL.

Starsonata calls:--anon:--
Fair is foul, and foul is fair:
Shoot lasers through the fog and filthy air.

[Admins vanish.]

Scene II. A camp near Forres.

Alarum within. Enter Nas2, Tobal, Donalbain, Lennox, with Attendants, meeting a bleeding Some Praetorian noob

Nas2

What a DG mineself wert impressed,
The way thou handled thyself Tobal and Miqqo90,
Both.

Tobal

The GaT is mine Nas, Take this 300 mil,
It should pay for some new armor.
lol.

Some Praetorian noob

I wish to tell the start of this story,
Lol, for it is one that will fill the hearts of many with cheer,
It be the story of Tobal, Miqqo 90,
The betrayal of caps,
As told by Retyu,
For he is like modest and other stuff like that,
But this be the story of what happned in Starsonata,
And since Retyu is tired, this play will be like not long at all.

Nas2

O Tobal we fought hard mine friend, let us go to your
base and land and party, and get pissed on vent!

Some Praetorian noob

And this the story begins, and they all get completely stoned, and from their
Dillusional illusions the admins appeared. But Nas2 and Miqqo90 and the
rest of the praets were too much out of it to think however Tobal heard
their words. (forsooth)

Nas2

I'm going to puke (retching sound into mike)

Thunder. Enter the three Admins

Atlum

Jeff, you got that blinkin' patch working yet?

JeffL

Yeah but it's a bitch, and Code keeps pinching my fries

Code Herder

I feel pretty sick. Sod this I'm off for a Kebab (cue laughter)

Atlum

I nerfed them once
I nerfed them twice
and all the rest for me!

JeffL

You're drunk again atlum

Atlum

Aye

Code Herder

Me three

Atlum

I think the Izer has too much hull,
The Elec bonus has got to go,
THe pax needs to be hurt more by mining,
Hull expanders suck,
I think everything is overpowered,
Nerf,
Nerf,
Nerf,
lol

JeffL

Pwned

Atlum

lol, someone quit.

Code Herder

*BLURK*

All

We are the Admins,
The Mighty Admins,
We Pwn all the NOOBs
We Own SS,
Adum is Gone,
More money for Us,
Let's get a better Server,
And nerf all of the noobs!

Enter Tobal stoned

Tobal

Such drasting nerfing foul admins, you bastards! WTF u done to my dark fist?

Atlum

All hail, Tobal! hail to thee, you stupid noob!

JeffL

All hail, Tobal, hail to thee, You lord of nothing you!

Code Herder

All hail, Macbeth, thou shalt be steal Nas2's pass while he's STONED!

Atlum

Noob!

JeffL

Pwned

Code Herder

Lol (Wheres the frigging pizza?)

Atlum

Lesser than Nas2, and greater.

JeffL

Code, wheres the Marijuana.

Code Herder

Tobal, just frigging go and pinch the password,

He's given you his details so this story can progress.

Tobal

Ok noobs, smell ya later

Admins vanish

Flourish. Enter Nas2, Raven4, Mauty, Inferno!, and Slaves

Nas2

Have we done the Iq Bana DG yet?

Raven4

My lord, the noobs we sent in there,
But an hour ago, have not come back,
I fear they are all stasissed.

Nas2

Meh, I want cookies.

Enter Tobal,

Oh Tobal, I like you and trust you heres my password.

Tobal

Why thank you. That was kind (Ya noob)

Nas2

Come into my base,
Let's do some heroin
(Buisness)
Sweeeeeet Beeeeeeans

Raven4

This is some crap shit.

Nas2

I am getting old and my porp pwns everything.
I shall retire to bed.


Which the eye fears, when it is done, to see.


Enter Miqqo90, reading a letter

Miqqo90
I am to be the one to take out the Capitalist bases, DWO doesnt suspect me.

Tobal

Don't screw this up bitch..

Miqqo90

I won't darling, I'd be mad to.

Tobal

Yes, we shall attack them tonight, but I have a surprise....

Hautboys and torches. Enter dudes from Praetorians

Nas2

Sweet base Tobal, full argo, very nice.
Very nice indeed.

Tobal

Yes, it's pwnsome, I think that...
You can dock here safely for the night and go to sleep.

Nas2

Yeah why not?

Tobal

Go to sleep then. (I want to take your fucking account bitch!!!)

Nas2

The weary one sleeps. He dreams

Exeunt

Enter Tobal

Tobal

Thus I did it.
I took his account.
The stupid noob slept in my base.
I transferred all his Items.
It... It was good.
I am now Nas2... as well as Tobal.
They will never know.
I have all his good shit.
What's this...

Tobal's Mother

Hey Rob, go to bed, you been up for like 4 days.

Tobal

Heh I just Pooned Nas2

Tobal's Mother

Whatever Rob... Good night. I and your father are going out to the movies.


Enter Retyu and Mr Dead

Retyu

What the Fuck is going on?

Mr Dead

Betrayal! Injustice! Those fucking Impy bastards! .

Retyu

What's Tobal done!?!!!

Mr Dead

It aint toby wuggums!

Retyu

WTF?

SomethingLikeMe

Miqqo-fucking-90 tossed the fucking shields

Nelson

What the fuck! That fuckign noob!

Mr Dead

What is that!?!

Retyu

Hmm, a PM from RobC

RobC

He has podded me brother...

Retyu

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Mr Dead

Ima make an alt and toss shields on Tobal's team.

Retyu

Caps are finished...

Exit

Enter Miqqo and Tobal

Tobal

Good work Miqqo90

Miqqo90

Caps are finished.

Tobal

Did you enjoy it.

Miqqo90

Yeah lol. Fuckign noobs. Wheres my 4 bil.

Tobal

Oh I'm fuckign sorry... Did I forget to mention?

Miqqo90

Wha...?

Tobal

I dont deal with Traitors. Fuck off.

Miqqo90

IMA KWIT!!!kjgrj;akra;bjk;bjra;rg;rg;bbrg;jarg;b knl;fvn;newn;gk
agk;bjwg;jkgagb;j;bjkragkakjgba;krjgbra;kjebg;arkgbjk
argkjagb;kkrjarb;;brbj;rkgb;jk

Tobal

Stop that

Miqqo90

thaareijoarijargi'orgi'o
THIS PLAYER IS OFFLINE

Exit

Enter Raven4 and Tobal

Raven4

Praets are dead and Eternals are here.

Tobal

Long live me, I am emperor. It is poonage.

Raven4

I know you took Nas2s account.

Tobal

I didnt lol

Raven4

Meh I dont care

Tobal

Is this an Urka Qa I see before me!?!

Raven4

Let's kill Rainer

Tobal

Ok. (Shoots Rainer)

Rainer

Oh noes I am dead!

Tobal

Lol... Die noob.

Exit Tobal and Raven4

New scene a room: TObal sit at computer.

Retyu and Mr Dead enter with pointy things.

There is much gore and stabbing and the universe is safe once again.

Oh, and Retyu pushes Miqqo90 off a balcony.

-END

ahhh win

epic post!

someone else spin an epic tale

Full Argo... Woah... Thats just hardcore! Pooned.

Truly Epic.